No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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