this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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