since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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