I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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