No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
only if we run a train.
done.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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