That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
