She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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