and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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