At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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