You're so nebulous sometimes
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
