My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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