haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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