OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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