Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think I won the penis lottery.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
