i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
