Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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