My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
