Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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