The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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