Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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