Do you still have your period?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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