Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
