I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
