I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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