we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
