I got chris browned last night
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
