i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
