My brain says no but my pants say off.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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