Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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