like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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