White coat. Heels.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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