oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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