if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
