wat bout pragnant strippers??
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
