I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
