sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
