Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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