You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
