I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
