i'm signing you up for texting rehab
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
