well most of my day revolves around power hour
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
