If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
