Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
