1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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