she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
