I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
