after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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