Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
