just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
