I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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