I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
