the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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